Friday, October 21, 2011


As I was shaving the other day, I got to thinking about, well, shaving.
Never say I don’t take on the big issues of the times.
Any way, what I was thinking was that I didn’t think this electric razor was really doing its job. There still seemed to be quite a lot of stubble under my chin and on my cheeks no matter how many times I went over them.
Which led to the thought that perhaps it was time to replace the workings inside the razor. But I wasn’t what store, if any, carried this particular model, which would mean I would have to search the Internet, which is what I think I did the last time I replaced the little round clippers inside, which was a long time ago.
Which probably explains their dullness.
So then I thought: Maybe I should go back to a razor and shaving cream.
I used to use one of the little disposable razors and shaving cream, but I got away from them because I didn’t like it when I nicked myself. I didn’t do it all that often, only when I was in a hurry.
But a razor and shaving cream would do a better job than this electric, no doubt.
But do they allow razors through security at the airport these days? And what about the shaving cream can. Does it have to be less than three ounces to pass inspection? I don’t know. I suppose so, but one never knows for sure with the government.
A lot of guys aren’t concerned with these issues because they don’t shave. They have beards, like “The Most Interesting Man in the World” in the Dos Equis ads.
Some time back I saw a picture of an old friend who I grew up with way back when. (No, not before there were electric razors.) He has a full beard now and I wouldn’t recognize him if he walked up to my front door. From the picture I saw, his beard is pure white and covers all his face, like whipped cream.
Which is appropriate because when we were growing up his dad owned the best bakery in town.
I’ve been thinking I should call him up and invite him to go to Key West for Hemingway Days. Of course, our wives would have to go as well. You don’t want to go to Key West with another guy. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I’m just saying.
Back to beards.
I don’t think I could stand a beard, even if I could grow one, which I probably couldn’t. If I go a day or two without shaving, I get uncomfortable. My face itches,even though there’s not that much there to itch.
I don’t have much in the way of facial hair, and what is there has always been very light in color. I was what they call a “towhead” when I was little, though I didn’t stay that way.
One time when I was first married, I decided I would grow a mustache. I should say, “try to” because I couldn’t get much going.
“You should go wash your face,” my wife said.
All the other guys in the office then decided they would grow mustaches, too, and pretty soon they all had Tom Selleck-like growths above their lips while I was sitting there looking like I had just drunk a glass of milk, and not even chocolate milk at that.
Between my lip and my nose, pretty much nothing. Except on occasion an itch.
So a beard would be out of the question today, even if I could stand it.
But I’ve got to do something about this electric razor.
Do they still make those Bic disposables?

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